Before I fall
by miaforevez
Summary: Avangeline Schreave is a stranger to her self. Daughter of Maxon Schreave. Mother unknown. she cant remember a thing from her past only glimpses and flicker of red hair and music whispers.
1. Chapter 1

Part one: Falling Lost

Avangeline POV

My mind is blank. The girl in my reflection isn't me. A stranger, Limp hair, fogged eyes, scars and bruises run across my face and arms like wildfire. I'm forced to wear a dress, one fit for a princess. "Are you ready?" I turn a blonde man with muddy brown eyes stands there. When I got here my memories were swiped. He claimed to be my father. He looks like me blond curls just tall enough to be considered tall. When that happens, when I see a person from my past my body tries to shut down and force me into a grey space. I brace myself but the feeling of grey space never comes. I have no feeling of familiarity or flicker of memory.

It's my birthday ball, well I wouldn't call it my birthday ball. It's Avangeline Schreave's ball. I am not Avangeline Schreave. I am not a princess. I am a girl without memories. I am a girl who is lost. I'm clad in only a mint green dress. The silk was tight with a sweetheart neckline and slit up the leg. I didn't like it. I feel exposed. Maxon leads me down to the biggest ball room. I can't bring myself to call him dad yet. Calling him dad would be saying that I know who I am. Calling him dad would be a lie.

I'm greeted by a couple. The king Fredrick and Queen Daphne. Queen gives me a long hug like I've known her my whole life. King gives me a pat on the shoulder and says 'Nice to see you kid.' When they touch me I stiffen it's like being touched like a total stranger. No, it was being touched by a total stranger. Their son Prince Jackson takes my hand brings it to his lips. I tug it back caught off guard. He brings his handkerchief to his nose. Blood slowly seeped out of his nose onto the top of his lip. He looks at me confused. He looks at me hurt. He looks at me the same way I look at him. Like I'm a stranger.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to." I keep muttering words like that until he gives and irritated glance my way. My mouth shuts into silence.

"Cher you know I hate it when you apologize for stupid petty things," but I didn't know. I didn't know him at all. He steps towards me and I take one step back. He shakes his head at me muttering "drôle fille, why are you acting so." My grandmother curtsies and whispers a few sentences into his ears as I rush out of the room. I feel like I'm in a cage. I don't know how to deal with this life. I run down the hall, I need to be able to breathe.

A good ten minutes until I find myself on the roof. I slide against the wall falling to the ground pulling my knees to my chest. The tears spill out. The air is cold against my skin. I can't handle being around people who know more about me than me. Most girls in my situation would be happy and all smiles. Why am I full of feelings and tears? I pull the pins out of my hair flinging them off of the roof and pull off the wig. My hair is short, It used to be long fell in curls down to my waist. My father didn't want anyone to know what happened. Not even me.

All I want is answers, what happened who is the radiant woman with red hair that sings in my dreams. I really doubt I'm getting them tonight or anytime soon.

"You really don't remember me do you?" He kneels next to me. "Your hair it's so short." I just shrug. "You're still wearing the engagement ring. Why?"

"I uh dunno it's pretty I woke with it on and I always to forget to take it off. Did you give it to me?" I feel stupid. Having to ask it feels like I'm giving into everything. 

"Yeah I did. You cried when I gave it to you, you loved simple things but I couldn't help but get you a sophisticated ring." He lets out a rough laugh.

"You want to explain all the creepy dolphin things scattered about my room." There thousands of little trinkets and knickknacks but their mostly crystal dolphins. Okay not thousands but a good thirty or so of them.

"Well dolphins are your favorite animal me or your father brought you one every time we came back from France to Illea. We would bring you back one to see your bright smile every time." That didn't really answer why they were their but I knew a little more about myself. "Cher," I nodded but I felt myself falling into a grey area.

Glimpses of red hair. Pull away Avangeline, don't fall through. Whispers of music. "Cher, what's going on." His sweet accent filling my ears bringing me back. He wrapped his arms around me stroking my short hair. Even though I couldn't remember him he didn't seem so strange anymore.

**What another fic arnt you already writing four on and one on figment. What is wrong with me you may ask. Everything. Emotional trauma from the one. God I ugh just read it you'll feel my pain. I wasn't satisfied . I rlly wanna cry I did cry when I finished it in pottery. I am behind on projects because of it. Ugh my heart hurts so bad, I loveit but I hate it. May or may not have been thrown across the room. Mulltiple times. So I cant bear to write from Maxons pov or in myfml or the others gawd ugh sorry I like needed to rant some more. Review plz they make me happy. UM CELESTE WHY I LOVED YOU SO MUCH *SOBS* not okay **


	2. Chapter 2

My room was dark when I woke all of those creepy little dolphins staring at me I really need Alice to deal with those. Rubbing sleep away from my eyes I hopped into the shower. By the time my maids got their I was dressed In a peach dress it was originally sweetheart cut but an illusion neckline had been added it rolled of my skin in silk that ended at the bottom being curled. Alice, came in along with the other two. I had a hard time with names. On was one of those names that was aceptable for either a boy or a girl and the other was some Russian name that was started with an A I think. "Avangeline, you're supposed to wait for us so we can help you into the dress and boots not so you can do it yourself." I couldn't help but roll my eyes. That got me a scowel. What was I going to do, I sat for at least a halfhour then got dressed.

"I tried but my attention span has no game." Alice shakes her head and grabs a lipstick tube like a wand.

"Fine, but now i'm doing your hair and make up." Alice always ordered lipstick cause I apperently hated lip gloss. She had every color, you'd think they'd be names like 'mango orange' or 'rose red' or 'pink'. But no we got 'medusa' and 'san topaz' and 'paris'. Paris kinda scared me cause when I think of paris I think of pastels not estatic hot pink. Alice choose 'Ever after'. Ever after was pale, pale, pale pink like I-can't-even-pale-pink. She usually set me in dark reds or maroons but this looked right. Charcoal liner felt wierd when being applied to my skin.

"Stop being difficult." She chided me, it was anoying me the liner felt like slime against my skin. It's not like it was drippy or liquid liner but it felt wierd. "Avangeline Schreve, I am not fixing your make up if you mess it up." Thats a lie, she freaked out and re-did her make up handy work all the time.

"Prince Beau-Willstock of France would like to have breakfest with you. Then he's planed a sweet day." I wasn't exactly comfortable with Beau, but I wasn't like cowers in corner about him either.

Breakfest was wierd. Being with Beau was wierd. Its like he knew me better than I knew me. Kinda creepy. Like breakfest was wierd. 

Beau had brought out an omelet with eggs and tomato and mushrooms. Disgusting. Like not even. Then he was like sexy french accent, "Is your appitite faint, it's your favorite." and his accent melted me. Like I can even. His accent alone made me want to eat those horrid tomatos and mushrooms, but my soul was telling me otherwise. Maybe I once had loved them but I could barely stand the sight of them.

"No, I just dont think i'm verry fond of mushrooms or tomatos anymore. Sorry." I glance up at him and he's trying to hide a laugh, but ends up throwing his head back with laughter.

"Thank god, cher I love you but you have the worst taste ever, or used to. You would like insist it was the best." He cuts half his omelet in half and settles it onto my plate. "It was more than I could ever eat anyways." He brushed a stray lock out of my eyes and behind my ear. I didn't feel the urge to pull away like I did when the Duke of Brazil had kneeled and kissed my hand.

"How do you feel about horses." Horses? I'm so lost right now.

"Indifferent."

"We'll once upon a time you loved horses, and we rode horses together for a good portion of our childhood. I would really like for you to get your memories back cher, Cher I miss being with you, I miss you knowing everything about you and us. I really miss us. Cher we were beautiful. We still can be beautiful. C'mon I want to get back to the place where I can hold you with out it being an act of force." He kept on using that sweet, sweet, sweet accent of his. He didn't even need to explain him self I would have done it either way.

"I guess," Mock defeat fill my tone. It makes him throw his head back with laughter.

He leads me away from our empty plates and the one giant omelet gentally settled on a plate.

We walk passed the pathway. "Wh-where are we going," the scenery is crazy gorgeous you look up and you see these big tall trees and sky, its beautiful. Its the kind of beautiful that you could just stare at for hours.

"Short cut," His soft hand is wrapped around mine. He lifts a tree branches for me, moves leaves from my hair and directs me away from mud puddle. It's sweet, like I feel a conection between us but I feel strange acting with that knowledge.

He finally leads me onto a meadow thats fenced off with several horses troting around. It was beautiful. "Cher, your outfit wont need to be changed unless you are afraid of a little dirt if you fall,"

I shrugged, I was like five four maybe and that horse was not five four in the least. Okay thank god I wore boots. "C'mon I'll help you," One foot is on the foot part of the saddle but I slipped. A laugh bubbled from my system when I slipped and Beau grabbed my lips. It wasn't meant to be a sensual touch. Everything between us is anything but friendly but I think i'm okay with that. I think I'd be okay with Beau being with me the way he had been in the past.

**84259 - that made me cry that was sweet thanks your my favorite on fan fiction and thanks for the favorite**

**guest- your gonna have to keep on reading to find out**


	3. Chapter 3

_Exotic orange yellow flicks all around me I stumble falling to my knees. I feel the fire blazing my skin and scoot backwards trying to stand at the same time. "AVA, AVANGELINE," my name is being screamed by a red haired woman tall and thin. Crackles and booms came from falling house limbs. _

"Avangeline, wake up sweetheart. Honey please wake, I need you to wake." My fathers voice fills my ears, but the dream wouldn't fade from behind my eyes. He starts to shake me. With all my being I wanted to wake. 

_More limbs fell one a foot away from myself. My head felt light as more flames came tumbling down. A dark form takes the woman with Red hair. _

"Can you wake her up." A voice I reckognized but couldnt put a face to voice filling the air.

"Not ye-" I shot up and felt out of breath and realised I had been screaming when I tried to speak.

"Shh" Dad wraps his arms around me. I feel like a little girl, in his arms. "You don't have to say anything unless you want to." His lips touch the top of my head, I think about speaking but when I try but I just make cracked sob noises. I don't know who the woman with the red hair is but, I feel an attachment to her, like the one I feel with Daddy. It's caring not like the attachment I feel with Beau. I want to know who she is, who the beautiful woman with the crazy red curls was.

**its short i know im sorry for that and you guys are endlessly sweet like i cant even like i had to restart this chapter just about a million times i even acidentally skipped watching the delerium pilot episode ima have to see it i can watch it later i think i can... anyways hope i cleared things up i didnt really know how to go about this and so sorry for the crappy outcome **

**thank you selectionprincess59 for the follows and favorites and kite tool heart for the follow**

**kaylie2000- i tried to clear it up but as kiera cass loves to say this isnt my story it my main characters story so like when i started this fanfic i didnt know what happened to avangeline all i knew was that she couldnt remember a thing nor her past and no not engaged more around betrothed *did i spell that right?* anyways thanks for the support and the follow**

**dondon33: oh your so incredebly sweet i dont really think this chapter is great but you might like it **

**lily s.: Okay so you practically made me cry and squeel i just couldnt even i tried to clear things up in this chapter also but like i said to kaylie2000 i didnt even know what this story was gonna be when i started this chapter so i tried to make maxon more fatherly and maxon like in this chapter and i really really apreciated that review it like made the start of summer so much better. i really didnt even exspect any reviews for this story and when i was flooded with three when i checked my gmail i was like waht is this life i live at like 3 am lol thank you so much for the support *gives you a cookie* **


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